Tuna Ghost's Daughter
by Puf Puffy Puf
Summary: Jamie, the new girl at skool, is told by Ms. Bitters to give Zim his homework when he skips class. Not only does she find out Zim's true identity, she turns out to be Agent Tuna Ghost's daughter!
1. Chapter 1

"Okay. Let's see what vermin are in class today." said Miss. Bitters. "The Letter M?"

"Here!"

"Spoo?"

"Here!"

"Zim? Zim? All right, where is Zim?"

"He's probably at home, plotting evil plans, to take over the world!" Dib screamed.

"Shut up, Dib! How many times do we have to say it? HE HAS A SKIN CONDITION!" Zita said.

"Be…QUIET!" screamed Miss Bitters. The phone rang. "What is it? No. Nooo. NOOOOOOO! Why? Ugh! Curse you!" Miss Bitters said, and hung up the phone. The phone burst into flames and disappeared. "Class, the skool principal has informed me that we have another horrible little rodent joining this class.

"Yay." Said the class dully. Then, a girl walked in the room.

"Hi. The name's Jamie. I'm new. Is this Miss Bitters's room?" Jamie said

"Yes. Class, this is Jamie. Say hello, class."

"Hi, Jamie." the class said.

"Find a seat, and stay quiet for the rest of the semester. Now, for homework, do pages one hundred nineteen to page one thousand. Any questions?"

"Yes. What about Zim? Is he going to get an F for not knowing about homework? Is he? Is he?" Dib asked.

"Who's Zim?" asked Jamie.

"Oh, he's just a evil alien from a distant planet, trying to destroy ALL HUMAN KIND!" Dib said.

"Don't mind Dib. He's crazy." Mary said.

"And he has a big head!" screamed Smolga from the back of the room.

"Oh, Jamie? Would you go over to Zim's house and give him his homework?" said Miss Bitters.

"Sure." Jamie said. The bell rang. Jamie tore Zim's address out of the phone book and headed over to Zim's house.

Meanwhile, Zim was at his house watching T.V with Gir.

"Hey. I forgot to go to skool today." Zim said.

"YAAAAAAAHOOOOO! ZIM'S PLAYIN' HOOKY! HOOKY HOOKY HOOKY!" Gir screamed.

" Well, let's watch more T.V." Zim said. Then, the doorbell rang. "Activate robot parents." Zim said. The two crazy mangled robot parents came out from the closet and opened the door. It was Jamie.

"Uh, hi. I wanted to…wow, your freaky looking!" Jamie said, looking up at the robot parents.

"Aw, come now! That's no way to talk to your bacon! Kiss and make up!" said the robot dad, grabbing Gir from the couch and pushing the back of his head into Jamie's stomach.

"Ow! Your poking me with an antenna! Hey wait a minute…" Jamie said looking down at Gir. "COOL! A ROBOT!"

"Noooo, dear. That's your spleen. Thiiiiis is a roooobot!" the robot Mom, this time, shoving Zim in Jamie's face, without his disguise.

"COOL! A…A…OH MY GOSH! ZIM REALLY IS AN ALIEN!" Jamie screamed.

"Uh, um…you saw nothing!" Zim said. Zim jumped out of the robot mom's arms, ran into the kitchen, pulled out a huge hunk of salami, and threw it at Jamie's head.

"Ow!" Jamie said. "Quit it! I promise I won't tell anyone!" Jamie said, backing away.

"Aw…looks like your salami wasn't hard enough…try this!" said the robot dad. The robot pulled out a huge bazooka.

"AAARRGH! NOOO! GET AWAY FROM ME! DON'T SHOOT!" Jamie screamed.

"YAAAAY!" Gir screamed. He ran over to the robot dad, took the bazooka and threw it at Jamie's head. Jamie fell over and fainted.

"VICTORY!" screamed both the robot parents, and exploded.

"I really need to fix those things…" Zim said.

"I LIKE POKING!" Gir said, poking Jamie's head with one of the leftover robot arms.

"Sigh…I guess I have to delete her memory…wait a minute." Zim pulled Jamie's wallet out of her coat pocket. "Pictures?" Zim said. The first picture was a picture of Jamie, and a very small cat. The next picture was a family photo with her brother, cat, and father, and mother. Jamie's mother was just a silhouette with red eyes. "Hmm…one of Dib's little…swollen eyeball friends. They would be suspicious if there daughter went home not knowing how to walk straight…hmm…what should I do?" Zim said.

"I know!" Gir said. Gir walked over to Jamie, pulled out makeup, and put it all over Jamie's face. "YAY!"

"This is gonna be a long day." Zim said.


	2. Chapter 2

"So, uh…what now?" Zim said, staring at Jamie.

"Let's make her a muffin! WEEEEEEHOO!" Gir screeched.

"No, Gir, no muffins. Hmm…I am still not completely sure what Dib stink's little organization is capable of…maybe I should make a clone of Jamie…er, no…well I dunno." Zim said.

"I WANNA MAKE MUFFINS! WAAAAAA! LET THE MUFFINS GO! WAAAAA!" Gir screamed running up a wall and falling back down on a rubber piggy.

"Aaargh! Fine! Just leave and…make your muffins…" Zim said, dragging Jamie into his lab. "Computer?" Zim shouted to his Computer.

"What is it now, Zim?" The computer said.

"Make sure this girl does not escape. Keep her in a cage like…thingie. I'll be right back." Zim said as he plopped Jamie down on the floor and left. Just then, Jamie woke up and sat up.

"Huh? What? Where? Who? Muffin?" Jamie said, half asleep.

"Oh…your awake…oh, yeah." The computer said. Then, a giant cage dropped on Jamie.

"Huh? Who said that? Hey, a cage." Jamie said. "Lemme out! Show yourself!

"Uh…I can't. Im a computer…I am the lab." The computer said.

"Wow…I really am in an alien's lab! Wait, I'm trapped in an alien's lab…hmm. What would Mom do at a time like this? Oh, yeah." Jamie said. Then, Jamie pushed a button on her watch, and the cage exploded. "I knew that that would come in handy someday!" Jamie said.

"Hey! You can't do that!" the computer said.

"Who's gonna stop me?" Jamie said.

"Uh, I don't know." The computer said.

"Boy, Zim must be pretty stupid to have programmed a computer like that." Jamie said.

"That's not nice!" the computer said

"I gotta get out of here…" Jamie said, running to the elevator. She started to push buttons and bang on the elevator doors.

"It won't open!" Jamie said. "Maybe there's some other button I have to push." Jamie looked around pushing all the button she could find. A lot of weird stuff happened when ever she touched a button.

"This looks like the button I'm looking for!" Jamie said, pushing a large red button. Then, one hundred waffles fell on her head.

"Ew…hey, there not bad!" Jamie said, munching one of the fallen waffles. "WOW! A BUTTON WITH A COOL ALIEN SYMBOL ON IT! THIS HAS GOTTA BE IT!" Jamie said gazing at a blinking green button. Jamie pushed the button, and a large screen appeared. It turned on, showing the Tallest, Red and Purple, fighting over a bag of nacho cheese chips.

"Mine! Gimme! There mine, I bought them!" Red said

"Nuh uh! I bought them! Now, give it! MINE!" Purple said

"Mine!"

"Mine!"

"Mine!"

"Mine!"

"Mine!"

"Mine!"

"Shut up!" Jamie said.

"Hey, what is that thing?" Purple said

"I think it's a human from…earth." Red said

"Sure is ugly, isn't it?" Purple said.

"Hey!" Jamie said.

"What are you doing with Irken communication equipment?" Red said

"I pushed a button and…hey! Your tall!" Jamie said, looking up at the large screen.

"Yup, that's why we are the rulers of Irk." Purple said.

"Really? Just because you tall? Well whatever. Do you mind if I show this tape to all the world and expose you, alien scum?" Jamie asked, pulling a mini camera out of her hair.

"Hey! You ate the nachos! Those were mine!" Red said punching Purple.

"Nuh uh!" Purple said, punching Red. Then there was static, and the transmission was cut.

"Now I actually have video proof Irkens! That is what you call them, right? Mom will be so proud!" Jamie said. "Hey, aren't you worried about your master's identity?"

"Uh…mhhm…zzzzzz…" the computer said in his sleep.

"I didn't know computers could sleep." Jamie said "Aw, whatever. Back to pushing buttons." Then, Zim walked back into the lab carrying a poop soda.

"AAARRRRRRGH! SHE'S AWAKE! SHE'S AWAKE! TRAP HER! NOW, COMPUTER!" Zim screamed.

"Blrblrb…snort…uh, huh?" The computer said.

"Not very smart, are ya?" Jamie said.

"What?" Zim said.

"I said-"

"What?"

"I'm trying to tell you that-"

"What?"

"Aaaaargh!"

"What?"

"Man…OK, shut…up…" Jamie said, very annoyed.

"WEEEEYAHOOO!" Gir screeched as he ran into the room. "Guess who made waffles?"

"Gir! Get her!" Zim screamed throwing Gir at Jamie.

"Awwww…he's kinda cute! Can you do a trick, Mister psycho?" Jamie said

"YEA!" Gir screeched, pulling a sandwich out of his head and rubbing it against Jamie's leg.

"Aww…well, nice seeing you, but I best be going so…hey! Where' my camera?" Jamie said, looking in her pockets and hair.

"Nice distraction, Gir." Zim said, waving the camera over his head.

"Well, that's just about the smartest thing you've done today." Jamie said, pulling out an odd shaped gun from her pocket. "Give it back, or I'll shoot."

"No way, pig smelly!" Zim said, crushing the camera under his foot. "Whatcha say to that? Huh? Huh?" Zim said, stomping on the camera some more.

"You asked for it! Eat meat, Irken!" Jamie said preparing to fire.

"Meat?" Zim said. "NOOOOO!" Then Jamie fired a weenie at him. "Eeeeeeek!" Zim screeched, his skin bubbling.

"Uh…oops. I can't have his skin messed up, or the experiments won't work..I think…sigh…better help him…."Jamie said.


	3. Chapter 3

"AAAAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHH! THE MEEEEEAT! GET IT OFF!" Zim said rolling around on the floor. 

"Wow…that must hurt…um…" Jamie said, backing away. "I didn't think that would work…are you OK?"

"NOOOOOOO!" Zim said, still rolling in pain.

"Umm…" Jamie said. "Robot, uh…help your master."

"OK!" Gir said, and threw a piece of bologna at Zim.

"AAAHH! NO GIR, STOP!" Zim said, now banging his head against the wall. Then, there was a beeping sound.

"What's that?" Jamie said.

"You are receiving a message from the Almighty Tallest. Now transmitting message." The computer said. A large screen appeared, and it turned on.

"Zim are you…wow. Zim, if you can hear me, I am about to inform you that if you get seen without your disguise and reveal the Irken race to all the world, we are gonna blow you and earth up! So ha! Bye Zim." Purple said. The screen turned of.

"Huh? No! I can never show mom Zim now!" Jamie said.

"AAAARRGGHH…hey, it doesn't hurt anymore." Zim said, getting up of the floor.

"Did you just hear what the tall guy said?" Jamie said. "I can't tell the world you're an alien…or they'll blow up the earth."

"Really? Oh, no. That means I will have to work much more carefully…and Stay clear of Dib stink, too." Zim said, putting some Irken medicine on the bubble the meat made on his skin.

"….and that means I can't tell my mom…" Jamie said.

"Oh, yes you can!" Dib said, barging in from the doors, holding a robot gnome head.

"Dib? How did you get here?" Jamie said.

"How did you get past the robot gnomes?" Zim said.

"I put a tracking device on you, Jamie, as soon as I heard that you were going to Zim's base." Dib said. "And nobody cares how I got past the gnomes."

"Tracking device? When?" Jamie said, searching her body. "Where?"

FLASHBACK TO SKOOL

"Look over there! Hippos!" Dib said.

"What? Where?" Jamie said turning around. Then, Dib stuck a small black blinking circle on Jamie's headband. (the tracking device)

"Hey, don't the hair!" Jamie said, taking of her headband, flinging the device out the window.

"Whoops. What a waste of a tracker…" Dib said to himself.

"What?" Jamie said.

"Nothing. Hey now there's a piggy with a little green hat with lipstick!" Dib said, pulling out another blinking device.

"Really?" Jamie said, whipping her head around to look. Then, Dib threw the device on her neck.

"Hey, who threw that?" Jamie said.

"Uh, Spoo." Dib said, pointing at Spoo.

"Quit it, Spoo!" Jamie said.

END OF FLASHBACK

"Oh, yeah. There never was a piggy…" Jamie said. "I mean, not that I was expecting one…heh."

"Now, I will expose Zim, for all the world to see! Mwhahahahaa!" Dib said.

"No! If you do that the tall guys will-"

"You mean the almighty tallest? Yeah right. They couldn't invade a toaster" Dib said, interrupting Jamie.

"Dib, they are gonna blow it up! I seen it! On the biiiiiggie screen!" Gir said.

"Blow…what up?" Dib said.

"THE EARTH!" Zim, Jamie, and Gir screamed at the same time.

"Yeah, and I wanna blow the earth up! The Almighty Tallest already get to blow things up!" Zim said.

"Yeah, and I am so not done being alive!" Jamie said.

"Yeah, and I…gots some piggies! THE PIGGIES!" Gir said.

"They are not going to blow up a single person. Now Zim, let's…" Dib pulled out a huge gun, and shot it. A net came out, and grabbed Zim ".…go."

"No! You can't!" Jamie said running to Zim.

"Watch me!" Dib said, and he somehow teleported out of the room.

"No!" Jamie said. "Does he want to be destroyed?"


End file.
